At the SSB

I reached Meerut in Nov of that year to attend SSB (Service Selection Board). Winter had already set in there. As warm clothing I only had a pull over, an old and worn out one in a mild colour, which we wore in Madras only when somebody in the family had fever! There were a bunch of candidates at the station, all well clad. As is the wont of Army, everything is very finely tuned. We were all ushered into a vehicle and taken to our accommodation and told to report next morning.

Next morning we were given an introductory talk and an explanation about the general conduct of the SSB. It was well known that just one or two get selected in any SSB. There were many cases when the entire SSB got washed out with none selected. When I saw the other candidates in my batch, all tall and well built with handlebar moustaches, dressed in suits, I knew I was in the wrong place. I cleared my mind about any chance of being selected that I might have harboured till then. I cleared all the unwanted cobwebs and attained peace, right then and there during the talk. There was no way I could be selected, if this is the kind of personality that is required. To top it, there was the notorious reputation of SSB. Therefore I decided to enjoy the three days of stay. After all that was my first trip to any place in the North.

All of us were given chest numbers starting from the youngest to the oldest. In our batch we were a total of 33 and I was Chest no 6, which meant there were 5 candidates younger to me! And I thought I was young. The entire selection process was in shorts and T shirts, all white. The shoes were the tennis shoes of Bata. There were no Nike or Adidas or their fancy styles and costs. We were divided into batches of 10 as per the age group.

I will not bother you with the entire process. Only a few odd ones, if you can stand even those. The first oddity was after the picture story test. They flash a few unclear pictures on the screen and you are supposed to write the past, present and future of what you see, within a given time. In one picture I saw someone in camouflage with a helmet manning a light machine gun. So I wrote about it. I was familiar with that weapon as I was in NCC in college. It turned out that I was the only one who saw that. Most saw a person climbing a rope! I said to myself: There you are.

There is nothing much to say about word association test, except that without wasting any time I wrote whatever association I felt with the projected word. Thus I completed all the words, while many others thought about the “correct” association and lost time and hence could not complete the test. I was “cool”, though those days, this as an expression did not exist to indicate what it does today.

In the individual obstacle race, there were a total of ten obstacles. We were supposed to complete as many as we could, even repeating them, in case there was time. I was able to complete fifteen. I felt funny. All those big guns were struggling to complete even five! I chuckled to myself.

Then during the team event going over various obstacles, I found I was going over faster than others. Now since it was a team event, you were supposed to help others so that the team completes in time. I came back, pushed and pulled the others the stragglers, to help them get over. Well, that was that. I was more of a monkey. So what, I thought.

During the group discussion, our group’s topic was national language of India. As to what should it be. You must remember that this was soon after the anti-Hindi strike had gone on in Madras against Hindi imposition. It was uncanny that a couple of South Indians in the group said it should be Hindi and those from North said it should be English! Totally against what was happening in the country. I was finding it quite amusing and was enjoying the unnaturalness of the whole thing. When everybody had finished, the GTO (Group Testing Officer) asked me about what I had to say, as I hadn’t spoken anything. I woke up. Now, I had some strong views and still have on certain issues. I cared two hoots to what others thought. As for the language issue, I was (and am) of the opinion that Sanskrit should be our National Language with English as the Official Language. So I just blurted out my view. Others from both sides blasted me. What did I care? I did not want to say anything specific to be politically correct and be selected. In any case I was devoid of anxiety, remember?

Then there was something known as Command Task. We were taken to a place where logs, barrels, ropes, planks etc were kept. Each one of us is made a Commander and given a task, basically to cross from this end to the other with certain conditions such as not touching the ground. We could use any of those given stuff as props. Each Commander could pick up any six (if I remember right) others in his team. He could also ask for suggestions from the team at any stage if he wanted. Those not in the team were supposed to keep shut and watch the fun. Everybody completed their tasks. When my turn came and I was given the task, to my utter dismay I found that I could not cross any further after the first step. Asking for help or suggestions drew a blank. There was nothing forthcoming. And then the time was up. So it was confirmed to me that that was my end. If you cannot complete the Command task, how are you going to be a Commander of troops? The only silver lining, if at all, was that all the others picked me in their team. May be because I was always laughing and joking and so, popular?

Afterwards there was this Board Interview. In this the entire selection board, consisting of GTOs, Psychologist, President and God knew who else, all sit in a semicircle, with you as the centre of attraction. Questions come from all sides. But without harassing you or upsetting you, I must say. During this interview we were properly attired and not in shorts. Since I was not seen to be wearing any warm clothes the President asked me whether I was not feeling cold in a plain white shirt and tie. I told him that I was wearing a sweater inside my shirt. When he asked why so, I had to tell him my miserable condition. I explained to him about the sweater wearing situation in Madras and the condition of my sweater and how it was not presentable. I remember the entire board burst out laughing. I said to myself, that’s it chum, this time you dug your own grave.

There was also an interview by the President of the SSB. Just him and you. Normally either during the interview by the Board or by the President, there used to be an inevitable question. “Why do you want to join the Army” The stock answer was supposed to be “because I want to serve the Country”. I had felt this answer as a lie. To me it was. Nobody was joining Army for that! At least not me. There always were many other ways to serve the country. If I were asked that question I was ready to say that my interest lay in the adventurous kind of life in the Army with an opportunity to see various places in the country. I could have also talked about the nobility in this service, since I believed in it. It was odd that I was never asked this question! Neither by the President nor by the Board. All that the President asked me was all about my family, college etc. Just personal. That, to me was a sign of rejection. Why ask a fellow who were not to be selected, worthwhile questions!

Well, all activities as far as selection was concerned were over and we were all sitting in the hall on the final day, for the results to be announced. Those selected would undergo the Medical Board and would stay for another three days. After a long preamble meant not to discourage those not selected, he did a good job of it I must say, the Officer declared the selected chest numbers. We were sitting in the order of our chest numbers, so I was in the front row. The first number he called out was Chest No 6. I turned around to see who Chest No 6 was. Nobody stood up. I was wondering why. And then it struck me like a lightning bolt. I was Chest No 6! I stood up. And then everything went blank. My breath stopped.

I came to my senses when all others as a mob were shaking my hand and congratulating me. If ever there was a feeling of incredulity in me, it was then. After the chaos settled down I found that Chest Nos 22 and 33 were also selected. 3 out of 33.