Mutton Fry

  The place was Ranchi, the year 1982 and the location, the Military Hospital at Namkum. 

  As a person who prided in never having reported sick right through my days at the Officers' Training School and up till '82, that is a total of 14 years in uniform, I landed up in the MH for the first time almost dead or at least worrying the medical fraternity enormously so, all because of a reaction created by a Novalgin tablet. But that is another story and not the one captioned here. However, after that admission and walking back in one piece, I was admitted a couple more times breaking my future record of non-admissions too. For never had I to be admitted again till just one year before my retirement. 

  The second admission in Ranchi was due to acute pharyngitis and the third was due to a severe backache, both in quick succession to the reaction one. My constitution seemed to have undergone some quick amendments after the drug reaction. Mutton fry in full blast happened during the third and final admission.

  You see, we had a fantastic cook in the Officers' Mess of our battalion who knew the shortest route to the Officers' hearts, especially the younger ones. Our Commanding Officer was a "proud" vegetarian and a non-drinker, both disqualifications of sorts in our realm. The redeeming factors were that he was a heavy smoker and that for a Tam-Brahm, a descriptive expression that had not hit any lexicon till then, he sported a huge handlebar moustache. "Tiger Thyagu" was feared by the internal and external environment for his attitude. But as long as he was a vegetarian, our cook found it difficult to please him, but to his credit, he managed. Mutton fry was one of the specialities of the good cook and my favourite. It was simply exquisite. So mouth-wateringly delicious.

  I had to lie on a special kind of hard mattress on a hard cot which replaced the otherwise spring one, for my sake. Those days in the Officers' ward of the military hospital, there used to be a table nicely covered by a beautiful colourful table cloth. On that there used to be a small brass flower vase (adorned with fresh flowers were every morning) and a small brass ashtray. Yes, you read it right, ashtray. Both were polished and shining. Officers could smoke while on the hospital bed! Those were the days when men were treated like men. I was lucky that in that room of the ward meant for four I was alone.

  Capts Tolani a Sindhi, Ahluwalia a thoroughbred Khalsa and Vikram a Dogri were my close friends and bachelors staying in the Mess. I was their senior being a freshly mint Major and on all apparent accounts happily married, staying in the quarters. All four of us were frequently either in my house or in the Mess to be engulfed in liquor fumes and cigarette smoke. So my languishing in the MH was taken very hard by them. They visited me every day.

  I was there for about a week by which time their patience ran out. One evening they landed up with a bottle of rum and four whiskey glasses. They also carried a hot case. Now, as for the hospital authorities, which mainly for the patients means the nurses, which mainly means females and that mainly means Malayalees, drinking in the ward was against the rules, unlike smoking. But if we had used discretion, the kind nurses might have looked the other way.

  The hot case contained mutton fry and mutton fry and mutton fry. These chaps had told him that he was to prepare it for me suffering in the hospital. So I think he added extra masala! Our revelry in the hospital ward, converted into a club for the evening, went on till the rum and all the mutton fry were exhausted and then my friends went back.

  Even the nightingales have limits to their patience and closing of eyes, I learnt. Next day morning I was marched up to the Commandant of the MH. He questioned me about the previous night. I told him whatever. The kind man ordered my immediate discharge and by lunch time I was out of the MH. I suppose he could have fried me alive for indiscipline! But always there are a few good men, notwithstanding mutton fries.

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