Loyalty

In this evening years of my existence, I realise that loyalty is a one-way street. In contrast, while in my subaltern years, I spent my days nonchalantly. Army looked after me and my perks, CDA (Officers) took care of my pay and allowances, numerous play grounds and swimming pools saw that I could sweat and laugh to my heart's content. Once the CDA himself in person, as our "provider" and hence a God-like figure, had addressed us in one station and admonished us for being ignorant of claiming our dues. Because of which, he lamented that Lakhs of Rupees due to us were being surrendered to the Government annually! There was loyalty both ways. The authorities to us and we to them.

What about the MNCs? They have their "leadership", which in their parlance is just selling the most. Customer is at the lowest rung, though posters proclaiming him to be their God would be hanging on the walls of the Corporates. They talk ad nauseam about loyalty to customers, something non-existent. The rhetoric is for the consumption of gullible customers. I will tell you why by a couple of stories.

Story 1 - Brylcreem

I used to use coconut oil for my hair until I joined the Army. Since you are to wear a beret once you are in uniform, I found this omnipotent coconut oil not very okay. So I switched to Brylcreem. Thus for about more than 32 years, Brylcreem was the thing. Let me confess, though my wife will snigger. Those days I had thick and shining but not long hair. In fact, our father used to take my brother and me every three weeks to the barbershop for a crew cut, ever since I remember. Later, when we tried to grow our hair long for style, it turned out that we caught a cold and if we didn't immediately run to the barber, then the cold became accompanied by sore throat first and then fever! So the moment we started sneezing, we knew the reason and ran to the barber and everything used to be tickety-boo. Therefore, the crew cut of the Army was never a bother for me. My father had virtually prepared me for that, I suppose!

To come to the point, sometime when I was into about 15 years in Service, I realised that I was spending a chunk of my salary on Brylcreem. Maybe because I used to have, still have, bath twice a day, in the morning and evening. Now, this was a habit forced on by my mother, right from when I was a boy (great parents we had!). She had insisted on a bath in the evening too because I used to come home sweaty and maybe smelly after all my games and sports. In the Army too, it was the same. Sweaty smelly self in the evenings. And as bachelors, we had to go to the Mess for dinner. So there you are.

Seeing my salary slinking away to a Corporate, I had a thought. Why not get back some of it from the company? I thought I would ask them to use me as a model. After all, I had thick black wavy hair. Only, you couldn't label it as luxurious, because it was not allowed to cascade down and over the nape and the ears. Childhood habit and service compulsion. I thought my face was not relevant in such an ad. And even if they wanted the face, it might have passed muster, in all probability. Or so I thought. So I asked my wife about it. "Yea, yea", she said. She always dripped sarcasm.

The long and short is, I never wrote to the company, and I never became a model. My crib is, if it is such a great company, it should have an eye for detail and home on to the customers who use their products to the maximum. In other words, find the leader among the consumers and reward him. Loyalty to the customer.

Story 2 - Park Avenue

I was never one to care much for brands in my youth. It was always bespoke, for me, be it shirts, pants or suits. But ties were Zodiac and shoes were Bata. By the way, I still have a Regimental tie of Zodiac which cost me all of ₹ 14 in 1970! And in any case those days mainly there were only Liberty and Zodiac as the brands for men. I am talking about half a century ago!

The first branded shirt and pants that I bought were of Park Avenue in 1986. You see, for the Officers' Mess functions, the dress was always dark pants and white or light, pastel coloured shirts. So I bought a white shirt and black pants of Park Avenue and a brown leather belt with "Park Avenue" embedded on it too, for jeans. That night I almost had a fever for I had paid a King's ransom for the dress and was worried that with my smoking I might adorn the shirt with some unwanted perforations! But whenever I wore that dress, people admired the fit and ever since I became a fan of Raymonds and Park Avenue.

It took me many decades to start using perfumes. I had a profound dislike for it and looked down upon men using perfumes. But you can't beat the trend! In my old age, particularly nearing retirement, perfumes came my way as gifts, alas. Still, I shun deodorants.

Lately, I happened to purchase a perfume of, who else but Park Avenue, paying an obscene sum. Within a month its nozzle became defective. Obviously, I wrote to Raymonds. They transferred my complaint to JK Helen Curtis, the OEM. Suffice to say; it took me six months of incessant emailing to get the replacement. I suppose they thought I might not take enough trouble to keep chasing them and will give up. Total disloyalty to the customer.

It still smarts me that I had to tell them that I am their customer for decades and even offered to send a photo of their belt of 1986 which doesn't fit me anymore but which I preserve as an antique, for such belts are not created any more.

I wish I had gotten after Brylcreem too!