An Obituary in Advance

You see, once the protagonist of this piece kicks his old rusty bucket, then there will be no one to do any justice to him. Hence I decided to act right now. Thus it becomes an advanced obituary.

This piece might be rather long; so excuse. It is imperative that an obituary is in praise of the Gone. Or must it? So here goes.

The combatant in question was commissioned into the Corps of Electrical and ME while in Q4 of his 20. He hung the uniform, sort of prematurely, after over 32 + years, from the Corps of Electronics and ME. Note the subtle difference. As is the wont when you age, the Corps too underwent makeover/up-gradation/updating in many ways, including the name. From Electrical to Electronics.

Having disgraced the Young Officers' Course, this principal character was disgraced in turn by being posted to Stn Wksp Shillong, for he had to languish there during the entire 71 war. To add insult to injury, he had to help columns after columns that went into battle, day and night. His heart-rending pleadings to send him to Dhaka along with an Indep Rec Coy fell on rudely deaf years. If not war, the next best he thought, and so volunteered for Commando and PT courses and for Para. He always loved the Maroon Beret. Each one was ignored ignominiously. He consoled himself thinking that maybe he was meant for China in an inevitable war that would ensue.

That he earned a Reprimand for losing the I-Card and also was "recommended" for GCM for figuratively showing the middle finger to the Officer Commanding were his achievements in the short span of two years of Service, much before the declaration of war. He escaped the General Court Martial by the skin of his teeth, alright. As a Lt, he even told an arrogant and offensive Lt Col to leave the workshop. While cutting teeth, you tend to bite anything and everything.

Degree Course that came upon him in due course was a big get-together. Many course mates had picked up Bridge and so to hell with exams. In any case, CME was not a place to study. The authorities had designed the institute vilely with umpteen distractions thrown in. Our man became the Corps Reporter for "Sarvatra", the College Weekly, and since he covered other aspects as well, created disquietude in gatherings. At the same time, his display of stunts on "Bullet" on "Auto Club Day" won him admirers too, especially ladies, because his own lady was gloriously big with their first child. From there, he landed in MCEME and promptly became the student editor of the "Happenings" to which he contributed too. So much so that one civilian instructor remarked in his report, "he spends more time in the press than in the classroom". Due to his anti-establishment reporting, numerous were the times that he escaped being marched up in cross belt, as it were. Finally, he won the integrated degree from the playgrounds of MCEME. (That's a borrowed saying twisted out of shape). For good measure, he also won the Billiards championship of the College.

And the noble institution made an error. They recommended the fellow for a Radio Equipment Course. The biggest accident that could happen in this course was a transistor pin piercing your finger as proclaimed by a wit. He liked the course. For he never liked the heavy tools and muck, grease and oil of the Tanks and Guns and hated the vast labyrinth of blueprints of the Radars. But one thing in favour of being with Armoured Regts. You could carry a pistol on your hip like the good old cowboys, our hero's favourites. Anyhow one thing led to another, and he was made to do the Advanced Communication Course! One of his good course mates asked him "who is sending you on these courses?". That was succinct.

He was then sent to raise a Wksp and command it as a Major in criteria appointment (meaning a goodd confidential report being essential for promotion to the next rank) in a barren location in the picturesque Jaipur! You reap what you sow! Sure enough, Severe Reprimands came twice in tandem in that short span. One punishment is one too many for ordinary folks while on Criteria. A sure death knell. Not for our standard-bearer.

After a stint in DGQA at Delhi, he was sent to Sri Lanka with the addition of a Star to the Lion (as a Lt Col) on the shoulders. Perhaps they meant him to increase the Noise to Signal Ratio (yes, I mean it) of one of the only two Special Signal Units in the Army, then, to Command their Wksp. There the LTTE looked the other way in spite of him giving them sufficient opportunities, by breaking SOPs. On return from Jaffna, he was visited by the Gens of EME and Sigs from Command HQ together and asked how he was able to do things that others could not. Nonchalantly he replied that he broke the rules! They tried to recommend him for VSM but that didn’t see the light of the day.

The warrior, having thus survived the peacekeeping, was sent for SO course, which was bizarre, considering his penchant, or the lack of it to be precise, for books and assignments! But then, his presentation on EME Support in Op Pawan was good enough to fool the Faculty into giving him an award for the Best Self Study!

Next, he was soon thrown into the cauldron of ABW in Agra with Gorget Patches on the collars. Considering himself an out and out field man, he protested. He was shut up by the logic "we need to groom Officers for higher posts". Ha! What a fib, he thought! He was simply cheated out of the Command of a Bn. However, from there he was elevated to AHQ and finally transported to Madras to rest in peace.

In his fair share of staff appointments, it goes without saying that the Gens tore their hair. That included the MGO too! By then he had a one-on-one argument with a Chief and took on a Chief-Designate. With the former, it was about the diminishing performance of Services Teams in national sports, making the Brigs standing around feel aghast and looking for cover. The Chief-Designate had unwisely tried to insult his Corps! That the Chief-to-Be back-tracked and apologised was our man's good fortune.

All in all, he had nine Wksp kind of postings and four Staff jobs apart from having to undergo the torture of six Courses. All mandatory. Once when he expressed his desire to have a go at DSSC, the good senior Majs advised him against it pointing out two aspects. One, that it was not necessary for the exalted EME. Two, that a year at the salubrious Wellington would delay the Criteria in more ways than one! They were polite enough not to point at his cranium. He was naive to listen to them.

Our man was neither ever posted to exotic locations like Nagaland or her sisters (Shillong does not count), Leh, Ladakh, Kashmir or Kargil, Goa or Bhutan. Not even Punjab! The worst part is, he was never separated from family, except for that single stint in Sri Lanka, for which, truth be told, he had volunteered! An Army service with no separation! Incredible, isn’t it?

So he vented out his angst against the establishment in the final article that he wrote for the EME Journal, titling it "My Sorrows", prompting some to ask "where is the sorrow in this?" Oh, by the way, the EME Journal was very patronising by publishing a total of some 65 articles and poems of his while he was in Service. It may not be out of place to mention here that in the evening years he published a collection of his poems and began blogging with nothing better to do, prompting his children look for the nearest hole to hide. 

While in Service, though a man of many hues, he did nothing that could be termed prestigious nor held any prestigious appointments unlike all else in the Corps. I wonder why I bothered to write his obituary in the first place!

His name? Well, let it be, for the time being. Will let you know when he finally croaks. He is still work in progress in that direction.

=============

Comments

  1. Col Rajendran31 October 2022 at 23:14

    Thanks. Corrected. Hope no other errors.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1 November 2022 at 08:55

    Wit flowing, as often as in earlier pieces. They asked once "where is the sorrow in this?", and likewise, I'm prompted to think: is this eulogy or self depreciation? Still trying to decide. But then again, as they say, "Koi naam na do, pyar ko pyar hi rehene do", will just call it another blog post. Nicely written. But of course.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Urthone1 November 2022 at 08:59

    Oops....self deprecation, not depreciation, though that is not too far off. Didn't realize I have been branded anonymous. Late realization. Boo hoo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4 November 2022 at 06:30

    Too soon for this piece but never not-a-fun read. Many more quotable memories to come!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Col Rajendran22 November 2022 at 20:58

      Now who is this "anonymous" I wonder. Blogger is acting too pompous, I would say. Thank you very much.

      Delete

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