RETIREMENT

 RETIREMENT

Not going into the etymology and different usages of the word, I think I have been retiring from various activities, by and by. 

The first, as my memory points out, was when I was in the final year of graduation. I wanted to retire from studies, already having undertaken the adventurous and the long and arduous journey for one too many years. The way out seemed, donning the Army Uniform. Turned out, it was a bad idea. The Army forced me to do study by way of various courses; on an average of every five years of my three decades plus service! On the contrary, though much against the principle of “never volunteer in the Army”, whichever course I volunteered for, the Army stately ignored. 

Then at the age of thirty I had to retire from football. It was because a senior, a perfect zero in sports, cast his evil eye, about five years before. He asked; “How long will you play games? Till thirty? Then you will break your arm or leg and then that will be the end of your sports”. Well exactly at thirty, my right knee slipped while footballing! But that put paid only to football. I continued with all other games, albeit basically on my anchor leg which fortunately was my left. 

Reading, to me, was a habit from childhood. Not just a hobby. My reading started off with classics of literature and heavy stuff like psychology and philosophy. As I started ageing, it became lighter and lighter and I skimmed through much lighter subjects and books. By the time I left Army, rather the Army retired me, I found that I had somehow retired from reading! It is an outright paradox! Now I have the time, but no inclination! This is the best medicine for insomnia, which I do not have any way. Two pages and I fall asleep! Every sensible person out there says, this is the time to read. On this aspect of mine, my wife used to say that I was born like Nero! 

I had taken up writing somewhere along. You see sitting in various class rooms which was boring, my creative juices started flowing. I started writing poetry, if you believe. I mean I call it that; don’t know about you. And for variety, started writing articles too! Poems were of life in general and articles were more of life in Army, its flaws in various fields. Verses were serious but articles were lighter. Once I started submitting those to the in-house Journal of our Corps and they kept publishing them, I got stamped as anti-establishment, due to my prose but not poetry. That did some career damage to me, I tell you. Once I retired from Army, I practically retired from Poetry too. But writing, though with a gap of almost a decade, continued as Blogs. But I find that I am retiring from blogs too, for this has become too infrequent. 

Writing had, funnily enough, taken a different route. I was entered into our rather large extended family’s WhatsApp group. They forced me to write. My credentials were good enough for them. The catch was, till then whatever I wrote was in English. Here it had to be in vernacular! I was trembling! But the nice people in the group encouraged and motivated me. They said write in the spoken language and avoid literary style in which none is interested anyway. One can be motivated even in the evening of one’s life! I began. And I wrote fervently for a while. I think I am reaching the end of that tether too. 

I used to be a gregarious person. Always happy in a group of people, for all activities. In games I loved team games more than individual ones. In office always found some excuse to get others in by way of sham conferences and meetings, which all knew was for fun. I had even held conferences in the bar on Sundays, in a particular large Unit, which conference got termed as “Beer Conference”. And this was quite productive, let me assure you! In parties, I moved from one group to another exploring different topics and gossips. This was then. Now I find myself shying away from people! Outdoor games have stopped, obviously. The only game I indulge now is in online Bridge, for that can be at my pace without having to resort to time stipulations. I can’t even think of an office environment, since commitment, which is an absolute must in a working environment, is impossible now. As for parties and get-togethers, I dread them now. I am tired of them. I find that I have retired from all group activities. I am not in kindergarten, exactly you see, for group activities. 

The wise will say exactly the opposite. This is the time to have and meet and spend time with friends, to learn a new hobby and all that crap. I was never much impressed or influenced by the wise, anyway. 

I am tired of it all.

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